Dear Shaunna Shindig (my former Myspace username),
I write to you because I know you are lonely. I know you feel misunderstood and lost in the world. You exude a confidence, and are far more socially open then you will be when you get older, but I know your world is crashing down around you and you are trying desperately to act like everything is okay. It’s not okay, and it shouldn’t be, but you are reckless and you are making bad choices, especially when it comes to boys. You are picking assholes to date so you have a physical and emotional entity to place your pain on. They are assholes and will not treat you the way you deserve, but they are also not catalysts for your father. You waste a lot of time spent on these guys. This is time you could have been using to learn new hobbies, or improving yourself, but instead you fall into a pit of emotional abuse, which will seriously effect you mentally and emotionally for probably the rest of your life. You are so consumed with identity, but you don’t take the time to really discover yourself until much later. This is starting to sound a lot like a letter of regret, I know, but it’s just a wish for better for you. You are an amazing person and you deserved better. You don’t believe this, and I’m sad to say that it’s still something you have a hard time believing, but you do deserve better. I know you think that no one can truly love you, because any time you show the darkest part of yourself, the part that is trying to consume you, they say that you are crazy. When you voice your feelings have been hurt by the person who you are most vulnerable, they tell you you are over-reacting. You’re not! Your feelings are valid and they should respect you enough to allow you to feel what you are feeling and take responsibility for the way they mistreat you. I want to scream at you to leave these assholes, but you don’t, you stay and take it until you start to believe what they are saying about you. You stop thinking your feelings are valid and you are now a made-up person. The pain has finally consumed you and it will take you a very long time to put yourself back together again and find your true identity. It’s a brutal process and you will do a lot of foolish things in the process, but you do find yourself again. You figure out that your way of connecting to the world, the people around you, and yourself is through stories. The real reason I write to you is to urge you to treat yourself better, to believe in yourself, and to not waste your time on people who don’t deserve a single second of it.